This past weekend we went back to our old house. What was supposed to be much needed family time turned into a "Let's See Who Can Whine the Most" contest between our two kids on the trip there and back, painting until 3am each morning, and spending Sunday afternoon replacing carpet in one of the rooms. No leisurely walks up the quiet gravel road. No playing games. No roasting marshmallows over the fire. Nothing I thought would happen this weekend. Plans change.
It was a long weekend, and we're all exhausted from our trip. We're exhausted from riding the car ride. We're exhaused from lack of sleep. We're exhausted from spending Saturday afternoon at the fair. And we're just exhausted from all this change going on!
It's exhausting having two houses. Our plan was to keep our old house for a weekend getaway, a place for my husband to hunt, and to stay connected with our old friends. Each time we've been back, however, we've been so busy it hasn't really felt like a getaway. And time doesn't stand still between each short visit, so it's hard to feel connected when things as you knew them, well, aren't as you knew them anymore.
Our 4-year-old is pretty confused about the changes too. It's been obvious since our move that he misses our old life. He pleaded with me this weekend to not go back to our new house. He said he liked our old house and wanted to stay. When I convinced him we couldn't stay, he stated he wanted to bring the ceiling fan with us, because he liked it better than the one in our new house. He wanted to bring the new carpet we laid in his old room this weekend. He wanted to bring our apple tree. You get the picture. Man, my tired Mommy heart broke about a thousand times this weekend! Now just imagine how upset my 4-year-old was when we told him we were thinking of selling our old house. It was an emotional weekend. An exhausting weekend. Everything changes.
This is what I told my son this weekend: "You know what? I know a lot of things have changed lately, but we're still a family. We still get to be together every day. We still love each other. We always will. That won't ever change." He responded in the typical 4-year-old manner: He didn't. He made a comment that seemed to come from nowhere and went off to do something else which made us wonder if he had heard a single word I had said. He did seem a little happier after our conversation (if you can call it that), so maybe it helped after all. And then it clicked. Even though I had said those words for the sake of my son, I knew God was trying to tell me something too. What He's probably been trying to tell me for a while...
"I haven't changed. I'm still here. It's still true that I sent my Son to die for you. You can still have eternal life with Me. I am everything you'll ever need. And I still love you. That won't ever change." Ohhhhhhh. I get it. You see, that's what it takes for me - the over-analyzing, constantly planning, brain-full-of-thoughts girl - that's what it takes for me to see the one true constant. My whole world has to change. Everything had to change. Can you say "stiff-necked?" Could I be any more short-sighted??!!
Here is what God tell us in the Bible:
- Psalm 48:14 "For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end."
- Psalm 33:11 "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."
- Malachi 3:6 "I the Lord do not change..."
- Matthew 28:20 "...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
- Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
Did you hear that? No change. The same. Always. Forever. For ever and ever. These verses bring so much peace and calm to my heart! I realize now that the things of this world aren't meant to be unchanging. Only God is unchanging. And I'm not saying change is always bad, but that God is always good. Always. And we are to put our faith in that never-changing truth, not in this ever-changing world.
I'm hesitant to ask...but I wonder what other lessons God intends on teaching me?...OK I'm off to do some stretching exercises to loosen up my neck muscles :)